Why I Let My Kids Interrupt Me
My youngest wandered into frame on a Zoom call the other day to tell me something fascinating about African leopards. I was meeting with a client. He didn’t notice the red light on my desk — the one that means…
Essays
What Doesn’t Need to Change When Everything Else Does
Some days, adulting is too much. A few years ago, I sat across from one of my best friends at a Habit Burger. He was eating healthy. I had a double burger, fries, and a shake. My friend’s only a…
The Quiet Grace of a Good Partner
I don’t keep many pictures on my phone, but there are several of my wife that I love. One is in the morning after my wife had gone to bed with wet hair. Her hair sticks up and out in…
That Pile of Clothes Isn’t Just Laundry
Have you ever wanted to fold laundry? Several years ago, I noted in my journal that I’d had a rough Saturday — though I neglected to include any details. What I did record was that I wanted to do two…
Making Peace with the 1,000 Tasks I Won’t Finish
A couple of months ago, I started reading a book recommended by my Kindle. I’m surrounded by technology all day, so there’s something so appealing to me about a physical book. I felt optimistic about this one, so I bought…
The Day I Stopped Waiting to Feel Ready
I didn’t feel ready. Not when they handed my wife the hospital gown and rattled off a list of instructions. Not when they decided it was time to break her water. Not when I watched the monitors track each contraction…
Learning to Want What I Actually Need
There’s something so satisfying about carbonated beverages. But the thing is, carbonation seems to be in direct competition with trying to keep a healthy body. Honestly, I let carbonation win most of the time. Some days, I definitely drink more…
When You’re Not the Hero in Your Own Story
A few years ago, I was working in Pennsylvania, helping launch a Utah-based solar company that’s now been part of my life for nearly a decade. Posture while sitting is a struggle for most people, but for some reason, it’s…
Shame Isn’t a Compass, But I Keep Using It
I’ve spent a lot of my life trying not to let people down. That sounds noble. It is, sometimes. But more often, if I’m being honest with myself, it’s been a way of keeping myself locked into roles and responsibilities…
From Essential to Expendable — and Still Whole
There’s been a pattern in my life that, until recently, I hadn’t even noticed. I show up somewhere, pour my heart and soul into it, become essential (maybe even irreplaceable), and then… eventually, without any real fanfare, I become expendable…
I Miss Myself — But He’s Not Gone
Hotels with sliding closet doors — mirrored on the outside — have always struck me as a bit much. A simple, full-length mirror, the ones that are just a bit warped around the edges, would be enough. But two doors…
What I Didn’t Know I Was Carrying
Resentment is a weird thing. Sometimes, you don’t even realize you’re carrying it because it manifests in such subtle ways. Since the beginning of my marriage, I’ve routinely picked my wife’s towel up off the floor. The first few years…
Where the Work Is Always Worth It
My mom got sick when I was nine. Breast cancer. The details are a bit blurry now, but I think the survival rate back then for her type of cancer was around 30%. Today, it’s something like 95%. She fought…
The Myth of the Guru Mountaintop
We were in the conference room again. The same cheap table and chairs occupying the edges of the room. We were all dressed like we were ready to run to the field at the first sign of trouble; something we’d…
30 Days in the Canyon: A Return to What Matters
Thirty honest days from the middle of the climb. Ask my wife — I’m not very good at following plans. I didn’t start this series with one either. I started it because I’m tired. Physically. Mentally. In my bones. I’m…
